To Allahyarhamah Sophia Izmit Emir.

I would like to dedicate my late mom Sophia Izmit Emir,happy Mother's Day.

Even though you're gone,but you're always in our heart.

Take care of our sister Elly and Arul with love and care up there.

We will always miss you.

Happy Mother's Day.

From deepest of our hearts.

Sulaiman bin Daud(your husband)

Shahril Iman bin Sulaiman(your son)

Ezreen Emira bt Sulaiman(your daughter)

Citra Sasmi Hardina(your daughter-in-law)

Justice For Elly/Justice For the 96.

I'm writing back on this blog again!Thank you for those who dedicates their sympathy and wishing to Elly happy birthday.Although she's no longer here,but she will never be forgotten.

And I'm also glad that Celtic FC legend David Moyes to kicked arrogant Rangers FC legend Alex Ferguson out of FA Cup tournament.For me,when Everton vs Manchester United,it's Celtic vs Rangers literally,because David Moyes was defender of Celtic,Alex Ferguson was striker of Rangers.

I hope it's not to late to wish to all Liverpudlians who lost their members of family especially when police mistakes is the reason for Hillsborough disaster.It's a morbituary neglect act by police.

Justice for the 96.

And I think my family's fate is same as those Liverpudlians,because of carelessness of somebody that holds responsibility with others life.Like 96 victims of Hillsborough died because of morbituary neglect,so does my sister Elly.

Justice for Elly.

I represents my family would like to say thank you to all of you to be with us whenever we need it the most.Thank you.Merci,grazie!

Teaching Democracy In Classrooms To Future Of Canada.

It's my new job (practically in workforce training) as School Election Officer in Election Canada.It's part of Student Vote programme,to teach children what is democracy.

In Student Vote,I will teach kids in kindergarden and primary school to perform their responsiblity to their country.

And to teach the good or bad in democracy.

Wish me luck.

:)

Birthday Girl Speech.

I would like to say thank you to all my friends,in real life or cyber life,for wishing me my 23rd birthday.

I would like to thank to my dad,Sulaiman Daud for coming home for watching my Antigone and celebrate my birthday with me.He's the greatest hero I've ever had.Thanks for be the first guy who wishing my birthday.Such a love.

I would also thank you to my brother,Shahril Iman Sulaiman and wife,Citra Sasmi Hardinawati,his brother in law Cahyo Guruh Hardinawira for wishing me happy birthday.Adryan Adi Worjoyo,Citra's cousin,thanks for your lovely card and lovely cupcakes.To my boyfriend,Rasheed al-Hussin,thanks for your love and corn-in-the-cup birthday wishes,you're so sweet!To Christina Riviera and boyfriend George,my Antigone director Susan and the rest of Antigone theatre crew,thank you!I would like to say thank you to my neighbor Mr and Mrs Patterson for baking me a cake for wishing my birthday,and although Celtic lost,I would like to say thank you for Robert for wishing me a very Happy Birthday.

I'm also would like to say thank you to Sue,my best friend who create for me a video for my birthday.I would also say thanks to Kak Maria,KO_E,Nami,Ajeed,Syed Faiz,Zahra,Sarah Samz and the rest of my cyber's friend!Thank you and God bless you all.

By the way,this is my 2nd year I'm celebrating my birthday without my mom Sophia Izmit Emir and my beloved sister Sherina Ellyana.At the time where balloons and cake with a noisy sound for celebrating my birthday,deep inside me I felt lonely without both of them.I hope God will take care of them,as God take care of me.Of course I'm missing Elly's present(she always be the first who give me birthday present) and my mom's cake.Of course I still keep her charmbracelet,and her last birthday present,a lovely frame of me and her.I also keep paper teddy bear from Nami,and I hope you'll make one for Sue too!

To all my friend,thank you,gracias,merci,danke,dankon,arigato,go riabh,terima kasih to all of you.

March 9th is 5 days to go.5 more days to be older.

With a map behind me,I really feel that I'm a Zapatistas terrorist.

Well finally my brother's honeymoon's leave finally over.He with his wife a.k.a. my sis-in-law Citra,going to London(it's not in England,it's Canada).

And I'm all alone in this house,again.

Haha,I don't know.Why suddenly I become soooo rebelious,anti establishment,anarchist,socialist?HAH?Yeaahh baby rebel!Power struggle!Yeaahh!

Still counting,still counting.As from now,it's 1.57am here,

it's 4 days 22 hours and 3 minutes.
it's 424,980 seconds.
it's 7,083 minutes.
it's 118 hours.

TO BE 23rd YEARS OLD!!

Still dorky.Still corny.Still horny(oopss!),still the same old me.

I'm so damn bored,popcorn and coke and a good movie is ideal right now.What is my great movie right now to watch?

Lucky Number Slevin seems good?



...or something romantic like 10 Things I Hate About You?



well,I'll decide later.Meanwhile,gonna grab ice-cream from the ice-box.

Good night guys.


Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-shi.

Elly,If Only You Were Here Right Now.

My dearest sister,Elly,

Yesterday our big brother Along married with someone he love.Of course life has change a lot,especially Papa,me and Aril.Aril right now is like Papa,has a responsiblity to take care his family.

Last few months,before Along get married,I've been thinking a lot about you,and Mom.I've been thinking if only both of you right now here with me,prepare for Aril's big day.I wonder that you'll be busy as me,especially our Along is well known with his ignorant attitude.In his final bachelor days he finally realized he is the one get married,not me.

Everything was fine,of course,things will be more excited if Aril's wedding happens in Malaysia.Especially to meet friends and family,not from far far away from our beautiful nation of Malaysia.Well,I'm ain't Malaysian anymore.But I miss Malaysia a lot,especially durians and ice-kacang.You of course will missing your favorite lemang.It's like you don't want to miss lemang in Hari Raya.

Dear Achik,

I still cry and guilty for what I've done to you.I can't control my anger.In my head I in that time there's only one I've ever think,why him?Why my ex who dumped me is the one that you chose to love?Well,he is no longer be with me,and I accept that fact,slowly I realized I must forget all these thing before I become 'andartu'.

Dear Achik,

You know that we have shared a lot.We shares dresses,foods,laughs,cries,everything.Just like mama told me,you and I were so close that no one could ever torn us apart.No one can break us,well I was wrong.He is the one,my ex boyfriend,and your one and only boyfriend break us apart.I don't want to blame him,I'm more to blaming myself.He deserved to be love by someone who really cares about him.Like you or his current girlfriend,Sue.Don't worry Elly,I knew Sue.She is a nice girl.She is capable to be his girl,to replaced you.

Dear Achik,

Our relationship since you've met and close with him is not good like before.Everything turns so sour.I've smashed your favorite Barbie dolls toy,I've shouted at your face,humiliating you in front of people,calling you "a retarded sister",the worst is when I threw plate and dishes to your face,and you're bleeding.No one can stop me.I feel superior.Your pain and agony seems a music for me.All because you've cross the line,someone that I love dumped me because of you,which I can't accept that.

Papa scared that I might killing you on that time.That's why Papa send you apart from home.But in the end,you've choked because of peanut salad,which you're not supposed to eat,and fate has come,you're on the path to meet God.

When the news arrives,Mama cries and didn't go out from her bed.For weeks she crying and never say a word.Sometimes the way she stares at me it's like I'm the one who killing you.I cry all night long thinking what I've done to you.Papa registered me into anger management course.

As the time passes by,as the memories go away,I realized that what else that I have right now,except our sweet memories as sisters.Just because a man,I almost kill you.

Few months later Mama passed away,and we buried her besides you.For taking care of you.The few weeks before she's gone,she told us that "she wants to be with Achik because Achik is a great daughter",Oh God,if only you know what I've felt right now.

Now Along already married.It's a right time for him to stands at his own feet.Me,I don't know.No one likes girl with Capoera and Muay Thai as her talent.While you,my sister,you're an angel in this house but since you're gone,this house were empty.

I could spend my days crying inside your room.Papa locked your room so I'll never depressed when I've thinking of you.As the day you've born,to the day you left me,you left me one thing to me-no matter how harsh I treat you,and no matter how I humiliating you,you always smile and love me as your sister.

I'm not a good sister.

Elly,if only you were here right now.

ATEMM(A Typical Egoistic Malay Man)

When I was living in Malaysia,almost everyday I spent my evening at skate park.There,me and my friends usually chatting and gossiping,like women loves to do,talking about cupidity--how attractive guys,and of course,we girls love to talk about boys.

One day,me and my boyfriend at that time(now ex,but still a best friend) hanging around while watching others rolling with piece of wood and 4 small roller--the skate.And finally I've noticed--that I'm the only one girl taking a Malay man as boyfriend.

Myra with her boyfriend,an Indian(not from rubber estate) Roger,Suhana with her boyfriend Jay,a Chinese,Sasha with her Eurasian(woo!) Derek,and Fida with her boyfriend,Ming,also a Chinese.

I'm joked,"technically he is not Malay.He is Javanese.He told me the word "Melayu" means refugees",I told everyone on that day.

Now guys,especially Malay,have you wonder,how many Malay girls nowadays like to be captivated with non-Malay boys?What makes non-Malay far more better than Malay?

Now,what is ATEMM.ATEMM is an acronym stands for A-Typical-Egoistic-Malay-Man.ATEMM main character is:-

1.Uncontrolable ego.
2.Love to brag,but fail to proof.
3.Never be romantic.
4.Stupid,but hate his girl to be clever than him.
5.Self-centered,never think his girl feelings.
6.Love to decide for his girl.
7.Power monger,but don't know how to use it,the right way.
8.Love to control everything,but eventually fails to control.
9.Pretend to be "macho",but actually annoying.
10.Never say sorry if mistakes occured.

Now,if I gather all Malay men today,and I throw 10 stones from above,9 out of 10 men being hitted by stone were ATEMM.

Yesterday on FOB there are a serious debate about Holier than Thou,today,this Holier than Thou person bragged about his achievement,which actually never impressed me,at all.

Guys,aren't you aware right now,Chinese and Indian guys are captivated Malay girls now?Are your "stupid ego" being challenged now,yet?

So,perhaps this is things that I should tell you guys,before all of you Malay men will never be Malay girls choice.Before Banglas or Indons reaping up Malay girls.

1.Be considerable.Be more wiser and understand that women loves to be cared and loved.
2.Don't brag.Let what that you good at been noticed by girls.
3.Be more romantic.How many of Malay men will push himself to write a poem for his girlfriend.My friend Sue is very lucky to meet Nami the Poet.
4.Be clever,if you don't like your girl to be clever than you.
5.If your girl are clever than you,then you have to accept the fact that you're not.
6.Stop deciding everything for your girl.Your girl is not a cleaning vacuum for you to control.
7.Even totalitarian dictator like Adolf Hitler love and care about his Eva Braun.Treat us as a lover,not an Indon maid.
8.Be "Argentinian macho",ego with care,not ego with stupid pride.
9.Always say sorry if mistakes occured.
10.We girls are not your slaves.We are your lovers.

It's nothing wrong to be ego.Ego is macho,but these nonsense ego,it's make we,Malay girls sick upon you all.

Brand New Name,Same Old Me.

Yesterday I've scrabbled my name,playing with letters with my name.In my history I was called Reen,Mira,Ezreen,E For Emo,Bosnia(my brother call me that),E,Double E,Ezmira, and Psychotic Prototype Robot.

This time,call me Ez!

I don't know,it's just a cool name,I guess.

Brand new name,same old thoughts of mass destruction.Muahahahahahaha!!

2009 Resolution.

My resolution in 2009 is to be a better daughter of Sulaiman bin Daud,a better sister of Shahril Iman,a better sister in law-elect of Citra Sasmi Hardina,a better best buddy of Sue,Mary Edwards Shane,Adryan and Nami,a better student of University of Calgary,a better Canadian,and a better homo-sapiens.

I also will upkeep my endurance for my Girl Power and Enpowerment Movement,uphold my struggle for women's emancipation,to be more moderate,to open my mind wider,and to be closer to society.

I also continue my criticism towards extremism,either race,religion,skin's color or sexual orientation.I believe all human are equals,and I believe everyone has rights to express their minds.I will always against people who loves to divide human being.

I believe ability is the best for measuring humans,not because it's religion,race or skin color,and I believe we're deserves to live and free.

I will continue my study,better and strive harder,to achieve my own destiny.I also will help Liberal Party,led by new leader Michael Ignatieff and although it's hard,I'll be stand for my beloved red party.

I will also determine to cut my carbon usage,by trying to use green technologies to keep this Earth clean.I also try my best to reduce electricity waste,and I will try to walk and using C-Train to arrive to my university.I will also try to reduce eating red meat,and prefers soy beans and vegetables.

I determined to declare war against global warming.

I will also will be the best Celtic fan,if not in the world,in Calgary Canada.I will be with Gordie Strachan and we will win the league.

"To be a better person takes courage and determination.To be an idiot,just let yourself to be Paris Hilton."

My Ankle Injuries.

I'm taking break for my current ankle injuries on my fibula,tibia and talus.

Thoughts of Mass Destruction will continue later.

Thank you.

Our True North Strong And Free.

Well,I'm proud to be here.I'm stand and proud to my Great Maple Flag as it raises on.

Today,I offer my alligience to my new government,lead by Prime Minister Stephen Harper.

We already been splited up as Conservatives,Liberal,New Democratic,Green,or even Marijuana Party.Now I urge all of us,Canadian,to stand unite support our new government.

Like our motto "Our True North Strong And Free",as Liberal supporter,now as a Canadian.

Congratulation,My Prime Minister,Stephen Harper.

I'm voting today!

I'll vote at Glenmore High School today.

Situation in Calgary Southwest right now is calm.

Stephen Harper arrived from Vancouver last night and thousands of Conservatives supporters welcomes Harper.

My car has been threw by eggs because of my Liberal bumper sticker last Saturday.

I'll walk to Glenmore High for not taking risk to be throw by eggs,again.

Eid Mubarak Speech.

Kami sekeluarga di Glenmore,Calgary,AB,Canada ingin mengucapkan Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri kepada semua saudara-mara,sahabat handai,rakan taulan dan sesiapa yang mengenali kami di Malaysia.Semoga Aidilfitri kali ini bermakna bagi kita semua.
Maaf zahir dan batin.

SULAIMAN BIN MOHAMMAD DAUD
SHAHRIL IMAN BIN SULAIMAN
EZREEN EMIRA BT SULAIMAN.

The whole family in Glenmore,Calgary,AB,Canada wishes you Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri,Eid Mubarak to all friends and family,far and wide.May this Eid Mubarak is meaningful for all of us.

We're sorry,body and soul.

SULAIMAN BIN MOHAMMAD DAUD
SHAHRIL IMAN BIN SULAIMAN
EZREEN EMIRA BT SULAIMAN.

Le famille entier dans Glenmore, Calgary, AB, Canada te souhaite Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri, Eid Mubarak a tous les amis et famille, loin et au loin. Mai cet Eid Mubarak est signicatif pour tous les nous.

Nous sommes desoles, corps et ame.

SULAIMAN BIN MOHAMMAD DAUD
SHAHRIL IMAN BIN SULAIMAN
EZREEN EMIRA BT SULAIMAN.

Shahril Hospitalized.

Kepada kawan-kawan yang mengenali Aril(Shahril Iman),dia sekarang kat hospital,baru tadi dapat news yang dia kena appandicitis.
guys,wish him get well soon.

I'm going flight back to Calgary as soon as possible.
:"(

Views from Toronto(my picture).

Toronto Irish Famine Memorial(my heritage).

Eatons Centre,the biggest shopping mall in Toronto,Canada.

Interior of Eaton Centre.

Eat yogurt for your health.

Cronies.

CN Tower,the highest tower in the world.

Inside CN Tower.

Wish for Travis Barker(Blink 182) a pink of health.

What a day..

Just after crying over my favorite team loss--Celtic FC,my beloved cat,which before this be took care by my late sister Elly,Lola,died.

I'm sad just now.Thanks to my brother Shahril for burying my cat.

:(

UoC Faculty of Medicine new job to fight bio-terrorism.

Now University of Calgary (UoC) granted C$1.7 million for fight terrorism.I'm not from Faculty of Medicine of course,but I'm proud of my university.Go UoC go!This is Now!

Microbiologist awarded grant to develop and test vaccines against agents of bioterrorism The National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, part of the U.S. National Institutes of Health (NIH) has awarded Donald Woods, PhD, of the Faculty of Medicine, University of Calgary, $1.7 million for research into vaccines against agents of bioterrorism.

Woods, who is part of the Calvin, Phoebe and Joan Snyder Institute of Infection, Immunity and Inflammation, is studying and testing vaccine preparations for the prevention of glanders and melioidosis. Glanders is a widespread bacterial disease primarily found in horses that can be transmitted to humans. It has a history of use in biological warfare. Melioidosis, which affects people in Southeast Asia, is also caused by a bacterial agent. The disease can result in pneumonia, septicemia, and if left untreated can become chronic.

The bacteria that cause these diseases are on the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s (CDC) category B list of potential bioterrorism agents. Glanders is caused by B. mallei, melioidosis is caused by the closely related organism, B. pseudomallei. These diseases are considered to be emerging infectious diseases worldwide, and have a high death rate.
"It is important to develop a vaccine against both of these organisms because they are very difficult to treat with antibiotics and even with appropriate antibiotic treatment, mortality is still high,” says Donald Woods.

The microbes that Woods studies are potentially dangerous, so he conducts his work in a biosafety level three containment laboratory. That means every time scientists go into the lab they must take special safety and security precautions to protect laboratory personnel and the public against exposure to these agents.

Woods is working in collaboration with investigators at the U.S. Army Medical Research Institute for Infectious Diseases, the University of Georgia, the University of Toledo Health Sciences Center, Cangene Corporation and the Faculty of Veterinary Medicine, University of Calgary.
Donald Woods, PhD, is the Canada Research Chair in Microbiology, receiving funding support from the Canadian Institutes of Health (CIHR) and a Fellow of the Canadian Academy of Health Sciences.

Achik.

Achik,

Tonight angah,along and abah has pray for you. We all recite Yasin and pray for your happiness.Abah told me,that you will be forever regarded if I stay this way.I know I should forgive myself,maybe I'm too emotional about it,maybe after what I've done to you.

Achik,

My life won't be easy without you.Once for a while,I keep thinking of you,glooming with my sins towards you,and i once said "life is better without you",indeed,it was.

Achik,

Before you gone,I saw myself as arrogant,selfish,ungrateful and always degrades people surrounds me. It's like build the tall wall so no one could invade my kingdom,but in the end it was no one inside it. It's empty.

Achik,

You're the one who has be patient towards my arrogant act. No matter what I've done,you still smiles at me. In your diary,you've wrote that I'm as your "greatest sister in the world",although I believe I never done anything good for you.I always make you cry,I always degrade you,I always cursing you.Achik,I just want you to know that no matter what,you are the best friend I ever had,the best sister I ever had,and life without you are miseryly empty,but like abah told me,life must carry on.

I miss you,Achik.

8th July 2008,a year after Elly's death.

Tuesday morning,wake up,and after breakfast,tea and scramble egg,my brother Shahril picked up his car key,with my dad,straight to Meadowlark Park,Calgary,where my sister Sherina and my mother Sophia has been buried there.Arrived there then,each steps remarks my grief and misery that I've been faced all this year.As I stares to her tombstone,without realizing it my tears drips,as my dad started to lifting up my spirit.All three of us then pray to God,that both of them will survive in their life after death.

Pain,misery and confusal still in my mind.Sometimes I started to be in denial,I denied that she never die,she still alive.The more I try to forgive myself,after a fight 2 months before she died,the more pain I've been faced.Now,a year after she left me,Sherina is still 'alive' in my mind.

May God be with you,Achik.

Sherina Ellyana.

I was 1 year 1 month when she was born.My mom(RIP) told me she's more harder to gave birth of Sherina than me,and since then,she was a center of attraction of the family.When she was 3 years old,it's an usual thing when she's stutter,but when she reached 7 years old,we know there's something wrong with her.

I still remember when first time my uncle meet her,and giving her a chocolate candy with the peanuts inside.She takes it,and when she ate that candy,she get choked,her face turns red and she almost can't breathe.We took her to hospital,and doctor told us that she's actually have allergy with peanuts,chocolates and etc.

When she was in Milan,she's a silent,shy girl,never speaks unless she need to,she's a typical Asian girl,even more.In contrast with me,I'm outspoken,and "Girl Power" spirit never die inside me.

Tomorrow,a year ago,I still remember the worst Sunday I ever faced in my entire life.My mom cried and she picked up the phone,my dad tried to comfort her down,while my brother Shahril were restless.I was confused,what happened?They told me that my sister died because of anaphylaxis shock,which according to Wikipedia as "the most severe type of anaphylaxis, occurs when an allergic response triggers a quick release from mast cells of large quantities of immunological mediators (histamines, prostaglandins, leukotrienes) leading to systemic vasodilation (associated with a sudden drop in blood pressure) and edema of bronchial mucosa (resulting in bronchoconstriction and difficulty breathing). Anaphylactic shock can lead to death in a matter of minutes if left untreated."She died in instant,without saying goodbye to us.

Yes,2 months before she died,I have a conflict with her,and because of that,I was the one who affected the most when she's gone.

And I know,even I put roses at her tomb,and no matter how hard I try to forgive myself for what I have done to her,I will never forgive myself.

Now my beloved sister,you and me,forever internity.

A poem for her.

Here I am,crippling myself on my knee

To hold my blisters and bleeding that i can't see

I'm crying in pain since you're gone

In a deep missing and misery i'm all alone

But I don't want you to know right now what happen to me.

I hold my sighs and cry so no one can see

But high above I know you can see me

Twisting my pencil and writing poems alone

Why you leave me so soon?

I hope there's a peace over there for thee

Even here it's turmoil and deeply agony

I'm standing still here beneath the stars and mourn

To feel the pain that you had alone

I'm here missing you and deeply in misery

Why you leave me so soon?