Sherina Ellyana.

I was 1 year 1 month when she was born.My mom(RIP) told me she's more harder to gave birth of Sherina than me,and since then,she was a center of attraction of the family.When she was 3 years old,it's an usual thing when she's stutter,but when she reached 7 years old,we know there's something wrong with her.

I still remember when first time my uncle meet her,and giving her a chocolate candy with the peanuts inside.She takes it,and when she ate that candy,she get choked,her face turns red and she almost can't breathe.We took her to hospital,and doctor told us that she's actually have allergy with peanuts,chocolates and etc.

When she was in Milan,she's a silent,shy girl,never speaks unless she need to,she's a typical Asian girl,even more.In contrast with me,I'm outspoken,and "Girl Power" spirit never die inside me.

Tomorrow,a year ago,I still remember the worst Sunday I ever faced in my entire life.My mom cried and she picked up the phone,my dad tried to comfort her down,while my brother Shahril were restless.I was confused,what happened?They told me that my sister died because of anaphylaxis shock,which according to Wikipedia as "the most severe type of anaphylaxis, occurs when an allergic response triggers a quick release from mast cells of large quantities of immunological mediators (histamines, prostaglandins, leukotrienes) leading to systemic vasodilation (associated with a sudden drop in blood pressure) and edema of bronchial mucosa (resulting in bronchoconstriction and difficulty breathing). Anaphylactic shock can lead to death in a matter of minutes if left untreated."She died in instant,without saying goodbye to us.

Yes,2 months before she died,I have a conflict with her,and because of that,I was the one who affected the most when she's gone.

And I know,even I put roses at her tomb,and no matter how hard I try to forgive myself for what I have done to her,I will never forgive myself.

Now my beloved sister,you and me,forever internity.

A poem for her.

Here I am,crippling myself on my knee

To hold my blisters and bleeding that i can't see

I'm crying in pain since you're gone

In a deep missing and misery i'm all alone

But I don't want you to know right now what happen to me.

I hold my sighs and cry so no one can see

But high above I know you can see me

Twisting my pencil and writing poems alone

Why you leave me so soon?

I hope there's a peace over there for thee

Even here it's turmoil and deeply agony

I'm standing still here beneath the stars and mourn

To feel the pain that you had alone

I'm here missing you and deeply in misery

Why you leave me so soon?